wtf (originally written 2011?)

Okay, so here's July & I haven't really done anything this year that I had intended when the year started. Six months in & I am in exactly the same place I was last year. Same job that sucks away my time/life/creativity. Same lack of physical exercise. Same lack of mental stimulation. Same time wasting, soul leeching activities. Same relationship problems. Same lack of time spent on what I really want to do. Nary more than one blog post this year. No Spanish language course.

Okay, maybe some things have changed for the better; I did pay off my credit card debt this year (only to charge a few things back on, of course. Ironic?) I did finally purchase my MacBook (hence the new credit card debt -but a great deal, not to be passed). I am having the downstairs bathroom finished -& mostly to my specifications. But not much more happening than that.

I am in a rut. A repetitive, reactive rut.

What's new, pussycat? (originally written 2012)

I've started a journey -long overdue- on a new career path. Cosmetology. That's right. At 44, I've decided to finally pursue a career that I've wanted since as long as I can remember. What stopped me, you ask? Probably no one or nothing to blame but myself. You know that old Eagles lyric, "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains. And we never even know we have the key." Yeah, that's me all over. Constantly finding myself trapped in cages of my own devising. Well, here's step one.  I'm in my second "cluster" (aka semester).  ONLY two more to go. 


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thinks to share; braincells to resuscitate

Well what the heck? I've been away for much longer than I had planned. Years. Literally. Facebook, I blame it all on Facebook. It's a guilty pleasure; a way to keep in touch with family & friends; a meeting place for new friends; meetings of like minds; pots of controversy that stir up anxiety; discussions -sometimes even with no trolls; sharing of info; waster of time; an addiction. It's also become a lazy person's method of "writing" -if mini blurbs about random topics can be called writing. I like it more than Twitter. In fact, Twitter I like about as much as I do Vines. My kids love Vines. Ask them how much I enjoy Vines. They'll tell you not at all. Seven second videos fuel some kind of rampant attention deficit in our younger generation. I find them annoying at best. ~Every~so often there might be a gem. But holy cow, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. Who has time for that? Twitter is the same. How many words and spaces can I fit into a 140 character thought? Forget punctuation. No thanks. Facebook, on the other hand, I can write as much or as little as I want. I don't have to use acronyms to make use of a small space. I can use punctuation. But usually it's just a small thought about something I read online -a blog post, or more likely, a news article of some sort. Maybe a meme about a current event. Maybe it's something that happened in my family -a brag, a whine, a picture. But the way Facebook is now run, it changes my feed constantly. As in, if I refresh, what I see in my newsfeed looks brand new or nearly so. And so I've become like the proverbial rat in the experimental cage that pushes the bar for a treat -a new drug. Continuously. Constantly. Checking & rechecking the newsfeed. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. It's finally come full circle, though. I think. I hope. I'm bored with Facebook. It's the same old shit. Same old complaints from particular people about the president. Or the same old memes, regurgitated from 3 years ago. Or news stories about missing children that nobody bothers to fact check if the child has been found but gets reposted anyway. Even though it happened months or years ago, and the child, indeed, has been found. The same old jokes. The same old politics. The same old high school mentality. If I could filter out all that crap & just get personal updates from friends & family, I so would.

And so, here I am. I would shut down my Facebook page but it's really the only way to share what's happening in my life with the people. UNLESS. Unless I can transition back to blogging. I can post here & direct friends & family to this page. It might even be a little more personal. Definitely it'll weed out the drive by comments & "likes". That might take some getting used to, not getting those little ego strokes. But at least I'll know that if someone truly wants to know about whats happening in my life, they'll have taken an extra step more that clicking the "like" button. 

Yeah, my other concern about using Facebook as my sole means of communication online, I seriously felt my brain cells withering away. Seriously. It was like even my actual thoughts were becoming blurbs. I was forgetting to use grammar, spelling, punctuation. And maybe that really doesn't matter in the bigger scope of things. But these other, faster, "concise" methods of online communication really are lazy. There's no challenge in typing a 20 word -or less- comment. I need more stimulation than that. Vines are 7 second videos; Twitter is the written equivalent; Facebook is the 20 second cousin. The fact of the matter is, I miss communicating in full, coherent paragraphs. I have thinks to convey. Loads of thinks. Thinks to get off my chest. Thinks to share. Thinks longer than 3 sentences.

So there might be a learning curve here. I've been away from regular blogging for so long that I've forgotten everything I know about HTML. I'm sure there's a new interface here on Blogger that I'll have to learn. I won't be able to make up for lost time; there's been way too much happening to be able to tell you about everythink. But I can start today. And I can come back tomorrow. And the day after, etc etc etc. And I can wean myself off of Facebook. At least that's the hope.