dare I admit

I guess if you already know me, you know I just had my birthday this past Friday. It was uneventful to say the least. I had to work b/c I didn't ask for it off. That kind of sucked. I got calls & emails & texts from friends near & far -much appreciated, to know that I wasn't forgotten, a reminder that I am indeed not entirely alone in this world. So how did I celebrate? I had my teeth cleaned. This is not a bad thing. I've been blessed with really good teeth & going to the dentist is almost enjoyable. You know, that clean, smooth, when you run your tongue over your teeth feeling. I have finally found a dentist in Denver that I like, so that is a bonus; now maybe we'll go more than once every year & 1/2 -especially since we're paying for it, you know. I kept Maddie home from school that day & the girls & I went to Illegal Pete's for lunch b/c I haven't been there in forever & it is by far my most favoritest burrito place. Very Yum. And we went to Shepler's where I bought the cowboy boots I've been coveting. I also bought myself a new camera (about a month ago) b/c ours is fairly mickey mouse & wanted something with a little more oomph. And that was my birthday.

I worked Saturday night too. G brought me Indian food to work & ate w/ me on my break. Sweet, huh?

Sunday I took the girls to Mass for the first time in a long time. I've been having this internal arguement w/ our priest b/c he insists that the congregation should not kneel after receiving communion. I, on the other hand, prefer to kneel & feel that it is entirely a personal preference kind of thing. Instead of checking out what everyone else is wearing or making mental notes about how differently each person receives, I can spend my time reflecting on why exactly I'm at church in the first place. So I haven't been to mass since that last homily when those of us guilty of kneeling were all but chided for doing so. Hmmmmm. I read an article about this topic & of all people, our Archbishop Chaput clearly & concisely points out that it is not forbidden to kneel after communion. Long story short, I haven't been back in a really long time. Like since Maddie's communion. Yeah. I felt badly, of course, but I also had this internal struggle to sort out. Then after awhile I started to feel guilty about not going & the not going was what kept me away. The girls pester me about it periodically. Yesterday Maddie pointedly asked my why I don't go to church anymore (she was, after all, still waiting to have her SECOND communion). It hit me that I was choosing to let a difference of opinion keep me (& the girls) away from church. So we sat in the front row AND I wore my new boots which are very pointy, just to make it difficult for me to kneel. And guess what, I was checking out the different ways people receive instead of thinking about the communion I had just received. I think I'll sit farther back next time. And kneel.

So what does this have to do with my birthday? I decided that since I was 1/2 way through my life (rough estimate!) & I did alot of things that I'm not entirely happy with during the first 1/2 of my life, I would rather live the 2nd half doing the "right" things. Whatever that means. So instead of wasting time not going to church, when I would really rather go, well, you figure it out.

Then the fam & I met my brother & his friend (also my friend) Mel at the Traildust. Not really my "choice" but I wanted to do something the girls would have fun at & also to see if the food was better than it was 3 years ago. It wasn't. But the girls had a blast. Our waitress was new & fun & it was at least entertaining to watch my bro harrass her in his misogynistic "feminist" way. (Some of you know what I'm talking about!) Even Nikki came with us! AND she spent the night so we watched this movie at Nikki's request. I mean, really. Keanu Reeves? To end my birthday dinner celebration? My FORTIETH birthday dinner? You've got to be kidding. I can think of no one who is a poorer actor. Grrrrr. Waste my time on that tripe? Lucky for her, she's my favoritest 18 year old. And it actually wasn't bad. No, really, it was tolerable. Interesting concept & yes, there are things in my life that I would change if I could do them again differently -even if it meant altering other aspects of my life now. But that is another post altogether.