Madster went to a bday party on Saturday. It was her former bff who shares her first & middle name (but for one letter change). It was a clique to which Maddie does not belong.
She said only one girl talked to her the whole time. Everyone else was mostly interested in discussing & listening to their cell phones. And texting. She said only she & one other girl present did not have cell phones (not the same girl who talked to her). Keep in mind, they are 9 & 10 year olds.
It's an issue we've been dealing with since 2nd grade. 2nd grade. Remember then? The daily requests for a cell phone. Her constant analysis of which company had better benefits (knowledge gleaned from t.v. commercials, of course). That discussion has fizzled somewhat in favor of the iPod requests.
I'm sure it wasn't so very awful as the party was taking place at this amazing store. They made little scrapbooks. And OMG! the selection of paper was mindblowing. Nothing handmade & nothing really exotic. But mouthwatering, nevertheless.
BUT get this: when I returned to pick Maddie up, the girls were running around taking phone snaps of papers that they found attractive. It was odd & manic (as 9 & 10 year olds can be). But the cell phone thing was, well, irksome. Maybe that's too strong a word. It was bizarre? I don't know how to describe it. It made me question whether our insistence on NOT having a cell phone before middle school has been in our daughter's best interest. I mean, has it been detrimental to her "popularity" or her ability to fit in at this awkward age? I remember all too well how it feels to be on the outside looking in. I was ostrasized in 5th & 6th grade. Was it because I didn't wear the "right" clothes? Because girls truly are "mean"? Because I was the "new" kid? Who knows. I know it was a painful 2 years. Have I ever really gotten over that? And how has that affected my life now? Would my life be different now if I had "fit in" then?
It's painful to see Maddie dealing with the same kinds of issues. Cliques. I hate that when I see Maddie at recess she's frequently walking around alone, not paired off with a bud or playing with a group of kids like everyone else. She says she chooses to be alone. But she also says she would rather be with friends.
And what is our reasoning as to why a cell phone is not allowed? Because we didn't have our own phone at that age? I also didn't have my own t.v. in my room -but the littles have one. We don't have a land line, so Maddie really has no mode of communication with her peers unless she uses mine or G's cells. It's just not the same as having a shared phone. I've even mentioned this to G. How I hate that we use separate phones (though I wouldn't give up my cell) because neither of us talks with the other's families; his parents call him on his phone & vice versa, as I do with my parents & my phone. I can probably count on 2 hands the number of times G has actually talked with my parents over the last 6 years. Seriously. Is it any wonder that it feels like a disconnect between us? Everything is separate. Anyway, I digress.
To be continued....
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