I know how Joan Crawford felt...

Have you ever had one of those days when the kids are taking turns crying about every little thing. The DRAMA is unreal. I'm talking EVERY little thing is magnified to end of days drama. I kid you not. I look at moms w/ boys and think that I'm glad I have girls b/c I wouldn't know what to do w/ boys. But these particular girls are about as close to boys as I can get w/o actually having boys. They are the most rambuncious, bouncing off the walls (literally) girls I have ever met. So would boys be less dramatic? Do boys have bad hair days? Maybe mine's a little different. She is the only child I've known to have bad hair days starting from the age of 3. Bizarre.

And they scream at each other in displeasure because they both want the same toy. Or one of them wants all of the same toys -say dolls- for herself. Of course the other was content to play puzzles until she saw there were no dolls left. All of a sudden the dolls are WAY more interesting than the puzzles. This leads to tug of war. More crying. Hitting. Maybe a bite. Pushing. More crying. Screaming in stereo. Mom sorts it out after letting them have a go. Neither will budge without prompting. Finally a few moments peace.

And then they screech to express excitement at all the things they find in their toddler minds to be slightly comedic. Everything from playing hide & seek to chasing the dog around the house w/ the doll stroller (poor cody). Screeches of pleasure riding on my very last nerve.

And it's inevitably the day that I have a migraine that we cycle through these amplified vocalized emotions. Not just one cycle. That might be tolerable. But all day, over & over again. They don't smell fear. Not these girls. They sense my pain & exacerbate it. Or maybe it's the day I haven't had enough sleep -undoubtedly b/c I was up all night w/ each child in turn. Or it's when I have fifteen million things to do and they want my every attention and they insist on having it by clinging to my leg or my arm or climbing in my lap.

So yes, I do understand to a lesser degree how someone like Joan Crawford could turn out to be so irrationally punitive w/ her own children. Those are days when I have to count over & over & over again. Deep breathing. Pray to have patience. Lock myself in the bathroom. Anything to regain a semblence of control over MY emotions. Meanwhile I wonder what was God thinking putting me in charge of these kids. I feel all too underqualified to be in this position of responsibility.

At the end of the day, though, I know it's just NOW. This moment in time. Tomorrow they'll be angelic. Or I won't have an excruciating headache. Or I'll pound more coffee. Soon enough they'll be grown out of this stage. They'll need less & less of my attention.

HOWEVER! Right now I have to get downstairs. I've been distracting myself successfully for long enough & the girls are being unusually quiet. Can only mean mischief. God help me. Deep breath.