obstinance

I have an almost 8 yo daughter who is the most obstinant creature I have ever met. Once she's in a bad mood, she has such a difficult time moving on. It's frustrating for everyone -herself included. Remember that scene from The Breakfast Club where Bender & Vernon have a battle of the wills over how many saturday detentions Bender will have because he won't shut up & back down? This is the struggle we go through. She knows she's being sassy & rude, she gets a punishment, she's sassy & rude, she gets another punishment and on and on and on it goes. She knows she's misbehaving & yet she seems unable to stop. So she's in tears & totally worked up about something that could have ended with the first punishment. And no, rewards for good behavior don't necessarily work either.

Now what? I took away her new shoes and new shirt for the day for her disrespectful behavior this morning. She's got no computer for being late to school (didn't she learn this yesterday? Or the many other times she's been late to school?) She's got no gameboy for her continued mean behavior this morning. Already no playdates til school's out (a punishment for disrespectful behavior a few days ago). Grrrrr. It's like running into a wall...over and over again.

And what started this crappy behavior? She was fine when she woke up. She even hugged me when she came downstairs. I merely asked her what did she want for breakfast. When I told her we had no oatmeal, she started the downward spiral. Even though we have 3 cereals which she chose in the grocery store. OMG. She broke her hairbrush -the "only" one that she can use- because she threw it. That won't be replaced. She finally apologized for her behavior in an effort to get her new sandals back. When I told her it was a punishment for the day she cried & carried on, incessantly telling me "won't you be sorry when I kill myself" . She moped and dawdled & cried & moaned until she was late for school. She insisted on not wearing shoes to school. I said whatever but you still have to go to school. G told her she'd go if he had to carry her & embarrass her in front of her friends. Still she wouldn't budge. I finally carried her out to the car without shoes to send her on her way. G came in to get shoes for her (Personally, I would've made her go without for the day for the natural consequenses lesson thing) (only b/c she was being sooooooooooooooooo friggin' stubborn, rude, mean).

She did make her own lunch & fix her own breakfast b/c I refused to do so after she called me stupid & mean & told me she hates me.

And that was just 7:45 to 9:15; sometimes I wish I were the kind of parent to give a bad child a whupping. But it would only relieve my momentary stress. It wouldn't really solve anything. Not that I have any solution for the situation at hand. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr