odd and maybe a little sad

We did not see one person with ashes on their head yesterday. Granted we went to the 7pm packed house service, after which we went home; maybe everyone else was doing the same at their respective churches. I just remember being a kid in the 70's in a protestant family & feeling like the oddball because it seemed like everyone else in the community was sporting ashes & I wasn't. Maddie suggested that maybe there are a lot of Jewish people on this side of town.

It was nice to see that our church was so full last night. Of course the littles wanted to sit in the front row. Maddie, for the first time, did not want to sit there. It was a long service too, what with ash distribution AND communion (which I was not expecting). And the homily was good -Fr Pat talked about how our lives are so individualized & we don't have to be a community anymore -even within our own families (think iPods, DSs, t.v.s in each room, separate cars, separate schedules, etc. etc). He suggested that for Lent maybe we could consider giving up one "separate" thing in exchange for spending that time communing and sharing with our families. Wow. Was he a fly on the wall at my house? Or is my life just not so very different from everyone else's?

And what do I give up? I don't think it'll be the computer. It's a little community in itself for me. I listen to the iPod because it keeps my mind working whilst doing meanial, mindless crap that has to be done around the house. In all honesty, I don't really watch the t.v. upstairs -just when I'm folding laundry.

I'll tell you what I'd like to give up. My low-paying, time sucking job. It started out as a way for me to get out of the house & have some adult interaction. It has become necessary to pay certain bills. BUT I'm not home to interact with my family as a whole. I'm not home to help with homework (so it never gets done & someone is developing very poor study habits -or none at all). I don't get to read to the girls at bedtime or make sure they're bathed. I don't get to cook good meals & share dinner conversations. And it seems to me that for every dollar I earn & spend on my bills, an equal amount of money is spent on take out & restaurant food. Essentially we're spending twice as much money & falling apart as a family. So tell me, is it really worth it?????